The Angelic Days of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Glensather
Summary: [Haruhi xover][Pseudosequel to Angelic Days Eva manga] Shinji Ikari's life was normal for an EVA pilot... that is, until he met Suzumiya Haruhi.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well, here's a new project of mine. _The Angelic Days of Haruhi Suzumiya_ will be just like it sounds like – a crossover between _The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya_ and _Neon Genesis Evangelion: Angelic Days_ or _Girlfriend of Steel 2_, however you want to look at that particular manga… although this is more of a pseudo-sequel to the NGE story.

You'll notice that Shinji's grown up a little and less whiny – in a sense, he's a mix between his _Angelic Days_ counterpart and his manga adaptation. The result is a character that thinks much like Kyon, but still retains himself within there. I have to be careful for this story; I'm treading two fine lines that could snap at any moment; one is the NGE fandom, the other the Haruhiists that threaten to slit my neck while I sleep. But I promise to keep myself in line.

Also, until I get used to writing this and falling in line with what _I_ want out of the story, you'll probably notice that Shinji and Kyon's statements will seem very similar. I'll be using lines straight from the book sometimes, but please bear with me.

* * *

If you had asked whether or not I believed in Santa Claus or the mysteries behind White Day, I'd firmly tell you that I didn't. I've known that Santa Claus hadn't existed since I was old enough to communicate with the outside world, and as far I was concerned, White Day was just a pointless holiday to force men to give expensive chocolate to women. That, and being the child of two scientists in charge of protecting the world will also take some of the mystery out of life.

However, if you had asked me if I believed in the existence of Aliens, Time Travels, Espers, and Sliders, then up until a year ago I would've said that I thought they did. Well… to be honest, they probably didn't, but you know, it's nice to dream. And until about six months ago, I knew for a fact that only Aliens existed.

Except these aliens were called Angels. And it was my duty to defeat the earth against them in a 60-meter tall bio-mecha called an Evangelion. You'd be surprised at how fast you get tired of a world where all you do is train in a mecha, fight giant aliens, and at the same time juggle work and real life. I'm 15, Damnit, I'm not ready to be doing things an _adult_ wouldn't consider doing! I'd much rather be on the sidelines of something like that, watching like my friends and being in awe, rather than being a part of that awe.

Okay, then, here's an idea: Let someone _else_ take over the position of Third Child. I'll sit on the sidelines and enjoy an average high-school kid's life, and be happy for once. No robots to worry about piloting, no angry redheads to put up with, and no super-sappy albino chicks to screw with my libido, please. I've had enough.

When I had finally reached my first year as a high school student, life was finally okay. There hadn't been any Angel attacks in many weeks, and life was finally starting to settle down. I was enrolled in Tokyo-3 Second Municipal High school, and for once in my dreary existence I had something to look forward to.

With a thought like this, NERV and my mission was but a distant memory. For a while, I could be a normal, carefree highschool student until the next Angel attack. That is… until the day I met Suzumiya Haruhi.

-

**The Angelic Days of Haruhi Suzumiya  
****Chapter 1**

-

And so, the first day of the rest of my high school life began. Oh joy.

The first thing that I have to do is climb up an impossibly tall hill to even reach the school. I honestly hope that whoever's genius idea this was got themselves crushed under my Unit-01's foot… purely by accident of course. The thought of having to climb this hill for the entirety of my high school career was somewhat depressing, but it wasn't entirely bad. I've faced worse; try climbing a mountain in an Evangelion! Now that's a struggle if I've ever felt one. And boy, did I _feel_ that one. I think I was sore for the week after that.

Oh, and also, I have a habit of oversleeping. I woke up fifteen minutes late today, and so I had to run up the hill. I made it in the auditorium about 4 seconds before we were told to find our seats so the principal could give us a speech that was more'n likely going to put me to sleep.

I searched around and quickly found Kensuke Aida, the bespectacled military otaku from eighth grade, and probably one of my best friends. He smiled and waved at me, and I caught up to him and sat down in the seat adjacent to him as the room quieted down.

"Strange combination," I whispered to him, noting the fact that, while we were required to wear a black sport jacket and black slacks, the girls wore teal and white sailor uniforms.

"Must be the principal's fetish," Kensuke whispered to me, pulling his trademark camera out of his bag and beginning to fiddle with it. "I'm gonna get everyone's introductions on camera today."

Joy.

"What's with the sarcasm?" he asked me. I shook my head as the principal smiled at everyone and thus began a snore-inducing speech that allowed me to catch a few winks before we were dismissed. The effect of the principal's speech was grand – so grand that I won't bore you with the details I did hear – and together with my classmates I entered classroom 1-5. Kensuke left me there, going alone to class 1-9 and wishing me luck.

Inside, I was greeted with at least one familiar sight; the smiling face of Hikari Horaki. She waved me over to the empty seat behind her, which I took quickly.

"No Touji?" I asked her. The ex-class rep shook her head.  
"Nope," she said. "He's two classes down… and he arrived ten minutes late. I feel bad for him," I offered a smile.  
"Well, it won't be the first time," I told her, reminiscing. "How many times was he later than me, after all?"  
"Quite a few," Hikari laughed. "But you and Asuka-chan were later than anyone."

I blushed. Thanks for reminding me.

About then, our teacher walked in, whom I almost instantly recognized as someone very important. He was Professor Kouzou Fuyutsuki… one of my commanding officers, and my father's right hand man. I stared at him with wide eyes, unsure of how to act; I had never spoken to him more than a couple passing times, and even those were short. My palms started to sweat; what was he doing here, I wondered?

As if sensing my thoughts, he looked over me and offered a quiet nod. I relaxed only slightly. The purpose of class 2-A was to observe potential Evangelion pilots; with that out of the way, we were told that we would be separated during High School somewhat… or at least dispersed. This is why Kensuke went to a different class from me. Seeing Fuyutsuki as my homeroom teacher was only slightly discomforting.

Well, at least he provided a more serene face than my father. And since no one knew either him or my father, it's not like anyone would wonder why the Vice Commander for NERV was acting as a homeroom teacher; no, as far as anyone knew, the smiling face of one Maya Ibuki was the face for NERV.

With a practiced speech, Fuyutsuki-sensei rattled off about a dozen lies in half a minute; he was the science teacher, and in university he was in quite a few clubs, and starting "remembering fondly" the likes of his contemporaries (which I quickly identified as the Bridge Bunnies and Misato-san) and some such. I stopped listening until in a very calm voice, he said.

"Now, let's introduce ourselves!"  
It was common to do (and I had to the first day of middle school), so I wasn't surprised; I just didn't want to do it.

One by one, the class introduced themselves, going down one row after another. When Hikari stood up, I suddenly felt nervous; would anyone recognize my name? Would anyone else from 2-A recognize _me_? Everyone from our old school knew the Evangelion pilots (mostly because a certain redhead wouldn't shut up about it), and it's not like no one knew what Evangelions were. On three occasions we've stomped around the city fighting Angels, and on 3 occasions we won… although this last time was less of a victory…

I flinched as Hikari sat down. Bad memories and nervousness do _not_ make good buddies. Slowly, I stood up and looked around the class; I caught glimmers from people… people who I knew would recognize me. Sighing at Fuyutsuki-sensei, I began.

"My name is Shinji Ikari," I said. I recognized no less than ten signs of recognition at that name. "I graduated from Tokyo-3 First Municipal Junior High School, Class 2-A."

Damnit, I shouldn't have said that. People were giving me "that look", and a couple of the girls had that weird fangirl look to them.  
"So, what do you do in your off-time from school, Ikari?" Fuyutsuki asked me. He gave me an almost imperceptible nod; so it was okay if I accidentally let it spill.

Which came out a lot easier than I had wanted it to.

That's right, class; standing before you, this wimpy little boy is the pilot of Evangelion Unit-01, which is the big purple and green mecha that's been in no less than three missions to save us all from the end of the world. My half-hearted smile reflected absolutely no love for what I had just said.

Murmurs started up like the breeze.  
"…_he's_ one of the pilots?"  
"Didn't you hear his name? Ikari Shinji! Everyone knows that name!"  
"Oh, man, what do I say to him?"

"Well, you're not much to look at."

I paused; the normal comments of fear and awe at me were suddenly reversed into a snide slap to the face. I looked at the person who had said it; a girl with long black hair, tied up in two ribbons, giving me an odd glare and a quirked eyebrow that instantly reminded me of a certain redheaded _whore_.

Embarrassed, I sat down.

The class settled and continued on. The boy in front of the girl gave her a weird look before giving his introduction. It was short, simple, and nicely planned. He seemed likeable enough as he sat down, letting the girl stand and uttering words I will never forget.

"My name is Suzumiya Haruhi. I graduated from Tokyo-2 East Junior High."

I quirked an eyebrow. Tokyo-2? Why not _stay there?_

"Normal humans don't interest me. If anyone here is an alien, time traveler, slider, or an esper… or a mecha pilot… then come find me! That's all."

Upon hearing that, I began to wonder which of us was crazier. I looked at her again, taking in more of her features; She was cute all right, enough so to give Hikari a run for her money. Daring and challenge shone on her face, and her eyes glinted with seriousness and determination. Her lips were pursed.

Yeah, she was _really_ pretty.

Haruhi scanned the classroom, stopped to glare at the boy in front of her (who had his mouth wide open), then glared at me (I also had my mouth open, I realized), and then sat down without so much as a smile.

I was confused. Was this girl serious? I looked around; everyone was having the same reaction as me. There was no way that this girl could be serious… but in hindsight, I realize that Haruhi is _always_ serious. For 30-some odd seconds, nothing happened, but soon Fuyutsuki called on the next person.

And that is how in our own way, Suzumiya Haruhi and I met.

How unforgettable… I really wished that it was all a coincidence.

* * *

Soon after, she reverted back into being just another high school student. Contrary to what I thought, she didn't even bother to speak with me after that first day. I'm not sure whether that was a blessing or curse, but I really should've left things the way they were after that day.

Since Tokyo-3 was pretty much labeled a war zone, it was hard to find anyone who had also came from Tokyo-2 East Junior High. I searched for a couple of days to no avail, and quickly gave up on my search. I really wanted to know if she was serious or not, but the thought was quickly lost. It didn't help that after that second day the lot of us Children (minus a certain albino and redhead) had about four hundred tests to go through, and the morning of the third day found me wondering if my hair still smelled like LCL.

I met the guy who sat in front of her and found out that his nickname was Kyon. I started calling him that out of habit, and soon I guess we became friends. Our topic of discussion the first couple of days was of course the girl who sat behind him. On the third morning, I suggested that he try talking to her.

It was here that mine and his bad luck meshed together; and it was my idea!

It's not my fault… okay, it is. But when she sits there, Haruhi looks like your average everyday highschool girl. I thought she was cute and kinda liked her except for that whole… weird thing she had done earlier. I figured that Kyon should give it a shot. How stupid of me; someone please beat some sense into me. Yes, I'll even allow you to curse me.

I listened in that day.

"Yo."

I tried to look like my desk was really something to look at as I listened in.

"That stuff you said the other day, were you serious?"

I barely noticed Haruhi shifting her weight more on the desk itself than the seat and peer at Kyon.

"What stuff?"

"The stuff about the aliens."

"…are you an alien?"

I was shocked at her serious tone.

"Well, no."

"Then what do you want?"

This was quickly falling apart, so I stood up and walked over to their desk. Why I'll never know, but it seemed like a good idea. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment, which would easily explain every day I spent in the presence of a certain _bitch_.

Just as the words "Don't talk to me" rolled off of her tongue, I waved.

"Hey," I said, smiling. "You said something about mecha pilots, too?" Kyon sighed, relieved that I was taking some of the pressure off of him.

"…yeah, so?" Haruhi asked, glaring. "You're not really what I'd call a mecha pilot. In fact, I don't think you are!" she looked away from both of us. "I have no time for liars; leave my presence at once!"

Defeated, I muttered "sorry" and went back to my desk. Kyon and I nodded to each other as I went back, though.

As I sight down, I looked at others who had been similarly defeated by Haruhi. All of us garnered looks of sympathy from each other before Fuyutsuki-sensei came in and greeted everyone.

I wondered how the others were doing as he called attendance. Touji, Kensuke, and I were all only able to talk during lunch, so it was hard to keep tabs on each other. As for the other two… I'd rather not talk about it.

Needless to say, I was depressed for the rest of the day.

* * *

A week passed after that horrible mix-up. I never wanted to speak with Haruhi again, and so I sat with my friends during lunch. We were once again the "Three Stooges" as a certain someone had put it one day, but soon we were accompanied by one other. Kyon had become part of our circle unofficially, and soon our conversations were filled with a certain eccentric girl.

We started to talk about Haruhi.

"That girl, Suzumiya-san," Kensuke said. "I hear she's pretty weird. Did either of you try talking to her?" he gestured toward me and Kyon.  
Yeah, we did. And it was a terrible idea.

"And she said some weird crap, and you didn't know what to say about it, right?"  
Well, yeah, to Kyon. She just insulted my mere existence.

"Sounds like a certain red haired devil," Touji said absently.  
Don't ever mention _her_ in my presence!

"Oh, sorry, Shinji," Touji apologized. "I'd forgotten."

"Anyway," Kensuke continued. "I've heard a lot of weird stuff about her from some people who also moved here; using my connections, of course," he paused to take a bite of his koi. "There was this incident with a tool used to plaster field lines or whatever for soccer games. Anyway, one night she waltzed in there and used one to make these huge shapes, like some pictogram."

"Yeah, someone was saying something like that in class," Touji agreed. "She fessed up to it next day, too. She was taken to the principal, and even now none of tha students who went with her know why she did it."

Knowing her? To summon aliens. Hell, maybe _she's_ the reason we have to fight Angels!  
"That wouldn't surprise me," Kensuke muttered.

"So you guys are pilots too?" Kyon asked, curious. The three of us nodded.  
"Third, Fourth, and Sixth Children," Touji proclaimed. "We save your asses every chance we get."

Ha, tell that to Haruhi! As far as she's concerned, I'm a liar! How depressing – it makes my missions look like manga chapters.  
"I know of you guys," Kyon said. "I went to a different Junior High School, but I remember seeing your faces a lot. Never spoke to you though; I'd always figured you'd want privacy."

"Well, now you're part of the group!" Touji exclaimed, clapping Kyon on the back. "Whether you like it or not, you're now associating with heroes!"

Please stop, Touji. You're embarrassing.  
"Anyway, about Suzumiya," Kensuke went on, picking up his camera. "She's pretty popular with the guys." I nodded; I could see why; as long as she doesn't talk, she's okay.

"She's really cute," Touji said, closing his eyes. "I watched her; she's also pretty athletic, and I hear that she's a brain, too; rivaling So… er, Hikari-chan."  
I ignored the "-chan" part of his sentence as we continued talking about her.

"Anyway, I'd put her as an 8," Kensuke said, referring to a chart he had in his room that detailed the cutest 8th – now 9th grade – girls in our class. "Right by Horaki, but shy of the 1-5 class rep." Nodding behind us, Kyon and I turned around and looked at our class rep; Asakura Ryouko, a first year and the girl who won class rep by one vote. Hikari, I understand, was still upset over that, but she was among the girls talking with her.

"You have every single first year checked out?" Kyon asked Kensuke.

"You bet!" smiled the otaku. "And believe you me, Asakura is definitely 10+! Come on; her face, her personality, she must be first-class material!" I couldn't help but agree with Kensuke's observations; Asakura Ryouko was very different from Suzumiya Haruhi.

First of all, she was very pretty; plus she always let off a smile-like caring impression. Second, her personality did seem to match Ken's description. These days no one dared to talk to Suzumiya Haruhi anymore, except for Asakura Ryouko. No matter how harsh Suzumiya Haruhi was, Asakura Ryouko still tried to talk to her from time to time. She was so passionate that she almost acted like Hikari did when… nevermind. Third, from the way she answered Fuyutsuki-sensei and teachers' questions in class alone, you could see that she was very smart. She always answered the questions correctly— in the eyes of the teachers she was probably a model student. To top it off, she was extremely popular with the girls. The term had only been going for a week, and she was already well on her way to being the center of the female students in the class. It was as though she had fallen from the sky and had been born with extreme attraction in mind!

Kyon and I nodded in agreement. Between Haruhi and Asakura, Asakura was definitely top-flight. But both of these student were far too high up the ladder for Kensuke to even hope to reach. There was no way he could get either of them.

But then… considering my amazing ability to attract girls, maybe I did.

Stop that, Shinji.

* * *

April was a hectic month for me. Although there was nothing more to hear from Suzumiya, us pilots had a hell of a time outside of school. There were sync tests every other day, and we went on three sorties; once, we were contracted to pick up a tanker that had capsized during a typhoon in Osaka; another time, we practiced firing the positron cannon… using me as the target; and a final sortie sent us all the way to Hokkaido so we could practice climbing in an Eva. We had excuses for class, of course, but despite that, nothing could be heard from Haruhi.

It was up to Kyon to keep tabs on her. When the month finally settled down, and I could come to school without smelling like blood, he told me a few things.

For one, Haruhi had a habit of changing her hair style. I had noticed this too, but hadn't really thought of it.

For two, Haruhi would suddenly start changing in the middle of class; and by changing, I meant into her gym uniform. While normally I wouldn't mind this show at all, the fact that the only reason she did it was because she considered us so worthless she didn't care if we got a good look at her sent bad vibes through her body. Hikari later told me that they tried talking her out of it, but she listened about as well as the sun.

Finally, Kyon told me that while I was on my climbing trip, Haruhi had joined and quit every club in the span of a week. When I asked why, Kyon shrugged his shoulders and said "She said they were all boring."

Well, what about her hair style?  
"Well, it's Thursday, so normally that would mean three bows. But ever since I pointed it out, she starting using only two." He shrugged. "Oh well, I guess."

Yeah. Anything else, Kyon?  
"Nothing important. People think I must be some sort of wizard for being able to talk for more than five seconds with her, but – and this is odd – I'm kind of envious toward her attitude toward life."

Want mine?  
"No thanks. I don't think I could handle piloting mecha until I was old."

I sighed as I took my seat. Well, it was worth a shot.

* * *

When May rolled around, we were told to draw lots to determine our new seating order. It was stupid, but it was Asakura's idea, and the thought of hurting that pretty girl's feelings brought sad thoughts to my heart. So I went for it without complaint, Kyon and I both. I ended up getting the last seat in the second row; a perfect place to sleep in class. But who should sit directly to my left other than Haruhi Suzumiya herself? I thought so. As if that wasn't ironic enough, Kyon ended up directly ahead of her, one seat up. It was like we gravitated to her position.

From the scowl on her face, I figured that she wasn't happy about it. But alas, that wouldn't be the case.

"Why hasn't anything interesting happened yet? Like little grade school kids disappearing one by one, or some teachers getting murdered in a locked classroom?"

Kyon and I exchanged glances. Stuff like that would almost frighten me if I didn't pilot a giant mecha every day.

"I joined the Mystery Club Group."

I can see where this is going, but tell us anyway. What happened?

"It was so idiotic. Nothing interesting happened! Furthermore, all the club members are detective novel fans but there isn't anyone there that resembles a detective!"

Kyon and I sighed at the same time. Isn't that normal.

"I actually had hopes for the Mecha Pilot Group."

Oh dear, they actually have one of those?

"But they turned out to be Ikari-worshippers," Haruhi muttered, glaring at me like I had done something wrong. I withered under her gaze and found an interesting spot on my pen, that familiar feeling of depressing welling up within me. I had mostly grown out of it by now, but I still suffered relapses now and again. And also, what with a certain _slut_ and a certain still-absent albino girl, my life still wasn't anything close to peachy.

"Oh, shut up!"

Her shout echoed in my mind as she glared at Kyon, who looked flustered. She made a huffing sound and turned away from him, crossing her arms. Damn, she's moody, I realized. But when was she not?

I had no idea that the two just had a world-changing conversation.

* * *

The afternoon sun had finally taken its toll on me. With Ken and Touji out for minor injuries (they fell off of Mount Fuji, much to NERV's embarrassment), I had nowhere to go. I was perfectly content with nodding off to sleep. But like so many things in life, that would be far too convenient for me to have.

Just as I had fallen asleep, I was abruptly grabbed by the color and dragged one desk over. I heard a thudding sound as Kyon's head met with Haruhi's desk.

"What the hell are you doing?!" we chorused. I opened one eye and glared at Haruhi, who had the brightest, cutest, and prettiest smile I had ever seen.  
"I got it!" she declared, smiling at us. "Why didn't I think of this before?" Haruhi's eyes were bright as stars, and for not the first time in my life I felt that lump in my throat that told me I was afraid.

"…what did you think up?" Kyon asked reluctantly.  
"If it doesn't exist, then I'll just create one myself!"

"Create what?" I asked.  
"A club!"

My hand started to clench and unclench on its own for no reason at all.

"Really?" Kyon muttered. "That's an excellent idea. Can you let go of us now?"  
"What's with your attitude?" Haruhi growled. "You should be happier!"

"Um…" I began. "That's great and all, Suzumiya-san, but…" I gestured. "Class is still in session." Haruhi let go of me and Kyon, grumbling and looking away as she sat down. The entire class was awestruck, and our English teacher looked about ready to cry, the poor girl. Kyon just shrugged at her. "Please continue with the session." He asked politely.

Create a new club?  
…oh Gods. I'm already a member, aren't I?

Looking at the similar look of despair on Kyon's face, I realized that I was too right for my own good.

-

**To Be Continued**

A/N: Observant readers will notice that there _is_ a subplot in there somewhere that I hope to quickly resolve. First off, why is Shinji mad at Asuka? Secondly, where _is_ she? And where's Rei? I promise to answer these soon as I can.


	2. Chapter 2

As with all things in my life, my bad luck came true. Right after class ended, Haruhi dragged me and Kyon upstairs into an old storage room to talk with us. I didn't have time to marvel at how fast she was, dragging me and him along at breakneck speeds. I briefly wondered what she planned on doing to us.

"I need the two of you to help me."  
She had grabbed both our ties and pulled us down close to her face. Weren't you just calling me a liar earlier?

"Help you with what?" Kyon asked, faking ignorance.  
"Are you stupid?" Haruhi snapped. "Help me make a new club!" I struggled free of Haruhi's monster grip and straightened up.

"Tell me, then, why I should help you," I said. "You were calling me a liar not a month ago, and you just thought this up!"  
"Well, I'll need help finding members, and Kyon will need help with the paperwork!" Haruhi declared. "Ikari, you're going to be the in-between guy for this one!"

But _I don't want to._

Kyon brushed off Haruhi's hand and backed up a couple steps. "So what kind of club will this be anyway?" he asked her.  
"Not important!" Haruhi replied. Was she serious? "What's important is to make a club first!"

There's no way, I thought, that they'd ever approve of something like this in the Student Council. Already the idea is something a drunk Major would think of. "Shinji and I will look for a clubroom while you find out what needs to be done, okay?"

How about no? Of course, I didn't really say that for fear of death, so I just nodded my head dumbly. Kyon looked about ready to pass out as Haruhi gave us a broad grin that could light up the darkness. "Well then, let's go, Shinji!" With that, Haruhi grabbed me by the arm and we were off again.

In the back of my mind, I was beating myself up for agreeing to this. But on the other hand I thought… it might be fun. That was probably the dumbest thought I had the entire time I was in Haruhi's company.

* * *

**The Angelic Days of Haruhi Suzumiya  
****Chapter 2 (_The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya_)**

* * *

"So where are we?" It was a perfectly innocent question. I really hadn't had time to watch everything that had happened, considering the speed which we had barreled down the hallway.

"The Old Complex on the other side of school," Haruhi explained as she dragged me upstairs. "Stay here; I'll search all the rooms!" With that, she started to open and shut every door in the hallway, eliciting either odd shouts and curses or something similar. I watched warily as Haruhi would should a question I assumed meant "can we use this room?" and as she narrowed her eyes in annoyance with every "no" I'm sure came out of the room.

Eventually, she reached the halfway mark and opened the door, shouted her question… and grinned. She asked a couple more things before slamming the door shut and running back up to me. "That settles it!" she said happily. "Today after school, and every day from here on out, meet me and Kyon at the Literature Club, okay?"

Never in a million years would I have ever thought I'd rather do a sync test with my Eva, but unfortunately, today was a slow day for mecha pilots. I'll be here.

"Great!" she shouted.  
"Is it okay with the Literature Club members?" I asked her.  
"Of course it is!" Haruhi said as we started on our way back to class. We looked like a real pair – I had my head hung slightly with melancholy, while Haruhi was practically grinning like an idiot and marching toward the classroom. "There's only one of them, but she said it was alright! I guess she's lonely or something." She prattled on about how all the girl in the room wanted was to be allowed to read and how that made her a little weird. This was coming from probably the weirdest girl I'd ever met, bar none… well, okay, maybe a few

"As long as we hurry it up," I told her. "I wanted to go visit someone in the hospital later." Haruhi gave me thumbs up.  
"No problem!" she said. "We'll make it a group outing! Hay, Ikari, is it a girl?"

Please, pick either Shinji or Ikari. And yes, it's a girl.

"Is it your long lost love, trapped forever in the hospital with a terminal illness, so you go visit her everyday and stay by her side until the moment she leaves you heartbroken when she passes on?"

Just what kind of a question is that? She's just a good friend, that's all… and a fellow mecha pilot.  
"Again with the piloting thing!" she growled at me. "Look, I've watched my fair share of anime, and most pilots look nothing like you. So until you can prove to me that you're a pilot of one of those Evangelions, I'm still going to think that you're a liar!"

Then why associate with me, I wonder? Please, just leave me alone already. This isn't my version of a normal high-school life.  
"So what's her name?"

"Ayanami Rei," I replied without thinking. "The first one chosen to be a pilot, I think… they've labeled her as the First Child, so I'd say it's a safe assumption. She's the pilot of Unit-00… that's the big orange one."

"I know what their numbers are, stupid," Haruhi said as we walked into our classroom. "There's no one who doesn't know about the Evangelion units and what they do. Just make sure you meet us at the Literature Clubroom after school."

She sat down and turned her head away from me and started talking to Kyon about what he had found. As it turned out, we needed 5 members, a sponsor teacher, a chairperson, and to state what our goals were to become an association. I could get a sponsor teacher in Fuyutsuki, I was sure, and Haruhi was more than likely the chair. But as to our goals and where we would get 5 members was a mystery to me. Even counting me, Kyon, and Haruhi, we'd still need 2… and members were probably not going to come easily.

Especially to something like a club run by Haruhi Suzumiya. Oh, boy… I didn't like where this was going. It was somewhat depressing, too, to think of spending so much time in her presence. A girl like her was prone to flying off the handle at a moment's notice – and that's speaking from experience.

…And now I find myself thinking about _her_ again. My depression kicked into overdrive as class began and my mind zoned out to up until now had been one of the craziest, up-and-down moments of my life; my eighth grade school year. From the day it had begun to the day it ended, I had done more than any other kid might have. I suppose that I had done good to not cave under the pressure, and a part of me was glad that I hadn't become _completely_ depressed about everything. Granted, there were some things that had happened that definitely dragged me down; one of my closest friends, Kaworu Nagisa, was dead and gone, and another, Rei, was in the hospital after… well… you'll see what happened to her. Those months had been tough, but I had friends, my mother… and yes, at the time, I had _her_ as well.

Of course, this entire time the one I don't refer to by name is none other than Asuka Langley Sohryu. There's a story behind her right now, too, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it… which in my world, might happen sooner rather than later, but there's not anything I can do about it. It was somewhat depressing to think of not having any control over your life, I thought, but it was nothing compared to what I've seen and done. Killing a close friend and seeing another in the hospital puts a damper on life.

Maybe that's why I'm almost always in a perpetual bad mood…

* * *

As soon as the bell rang for the end of class, Haruhi grabbed Kyon by the jacket sleeve and pulled him out of the classroom at damn-near kidnapping speed. Kyon dropped his handbag as they rounded the corner out of the room, so I ended up taking both mine and his bags toward the Literature Room. My feet felt moved slowly, like I was in an Eva with a low synchronization score, and for the most part I didn't care. I blinked blearily as the hallway seemed to stretch out before me, lengthening with each heavy step I took. I didn't want to go, I really didn't… but I had to see this through to the end, only if it's just to give Kyon his bag and to ensure that no one sane would be tricked into joining this… erm, "club".

I suddenly felt very lonely as I wandered the school toward the Old Complex. Touji, Kensuke, and Hikari were nowhere to be seen after class; well, I knew that Touji was on cleanup, but as for Kensuke… ah, there was probably some showing for the Self-Defense Force's new model gun or something. Hikari had walked off with Asakura, leaving me alone and more or less forced to walk toward the Literature Club room. Even as I plodded along, my heavy steps seemed to go by too quickly, and soon enough I was in the Old Complex, walking upstairs to where the future as-yet-unnamed clubroom would be. I stifled a sudden thought, that maybe Haruhi had forced the Literature Club into doing something they didn't want to do. Maybe she had bribed, or browbeat the girl inside before I showed up.

Even as I reached the top of the stairs, I could hear Haruhi's boastful voice.  
"Close enough! A club with only one member is the same as none."

If my hands weren't full, I would've slapped myself in the forehead. What an idiot… so she _is_ just going to take over the clubroom. I sighed and continued walking toward the room as Haruhi's voice grew louder with each question I'm sure Kyon was asking.

"She said it doesn't matter!" she was shouting. "…I asked her already at lunchtime, Ikari came with me. I said I need her to lend me the room and she said 'go ahead', as long as you read in peace… She's pretty weird, huh?"

I sighed again. For all the people to say that…  
I came up behind Haruhi and leaned against the door frame, closing my eyes and sighing. The future association leader looked at me with a frown.

"You're late," she said. "This is your first and only warning; once the club gets started, I'm going to start docking people for tardiness!"  
I stared at the girl like she was a woman possessed, striding into the clubroom triumphantly and pulling out a folding chair, sitting in it and smiling at us mockingly with arms crossed. "So don't be late!"

I nodded slowly and dropped the handbags on the table, listening as Kyon talked to the third girl.

"Maybe you'll even be evicted?"  
"Please, feel free."

I sighed. Okay, so maybe this girl _was_ a bit strange. She had that cold tone of voice that reminded me of a robot… or maybe something else. A little tickle at the back of my mind, like an echo, suddenly reached the front of my head, and I couldn't help but look over at the girl who'd spoken…. And almost regretted it.

She had pale skin and a face that betrayed no emotion, though it was pretty cute. She had short whitish-gray hair and glasses that for some reason I just wanted to rip off of her to get a better view. Her eyes were deep in color, somewhere between black and gold and hazel all at once but none of them at the same time. She blinked once, the only indication that she was even alive, as she looked up at Kyon.

But that's not why I regretted it. The reason I did was cue to the uncanny similarities. If her hair had a shade of blue and her eyes were bright red, this girl would be an almost exact duplicate of Rei Ayanami. The sight of this girl triggered that tickle again, and suddenly I found the world around me disappear.

_Lying under me, her body completely naked, expressionless eyes looking up at me. "Will you get off?" _

_What the giant orange machine was to her, her quiet voice like music. "My bond." _

_Her answer to my question. "To all people." _

_Meeting her the day she transferred in, all smiles and laughter. "Hi, I'm Rei Ayanami!" _

_Cleaning up her room. "Thank you." _

_Looking up at my father. "I will not be a puppet for you to control anymore." _

_Home economics class… a flash of pain. "Ow! I burned myself…" _

_In the cockpit of Unit-00, a defeated look on her face. "I wish to become one with Ikari." _

_Tears in her eyes as for one brief moment, she took all of her emotions and released them at once, seconds before destroying her EVA. "Goodbye, Shinji." _

_A single tear in her eye as Asuka and I leaned against each other on the roof of the school. "I guess I finally lost you to Asuka, didn't I?"_

Flashes of memories I didn't have and did have appeared in my head as I stared at this quiet girl. Images of the Rei I knew and of a Rei I didn't know appeared all at once, assaulting my head and forcing it to spin in a lazy circle. Who was this girl before me? Not just here, but in my head, too? This girl who was Rei, the bubbly and happy girl who had somehow fallen for me, and this other one, who was distant and cold… who was she?

_Rei adjusts her skirt and smiles at me. "Thanks for walking with me today, Shinji-kun." _

_Ayanami looks out of the classroom window, her eyes distant, her voice quiet. _

_Rei seals her plugsuit and steps out of the locker room, where the rest of us are waiting. "Sorry for taking so long, guys…" _

_Ayanami steps out of the locker room quietly, her plugsuit against her body tightly. She spares me a glance before walking off. _

_Rei confronts Asuka. "Why do you have to be so mean to him?!" _

_Ayanami confronts Asuka. "Tell me; do you pilot Eva for the praise of others?" _

"Shinji?" I suddenly felt light headed and leaned against the table in the center of the room. I tore my gaze away from the girl and focused on a blank spot on the wall, forcing my head to come back down to Earth. Haruhi had stood up and planted her hands on the table, a strange look on her features, and Kyon had put a hand on my shoulder, giving me a questioning look. "Shinji, are you all right? You don't look well."

I looked at Kyon as he stared back at me.

_Ayanami looked at me… and smiled.  
__Rei laughed at me.  
__Ayanami and Rei both looked at me sideways. "Shinji, do you love me?"_

…and I fainted.

…And when I came to, I was being stared at by Haruhi and Kyon. I clapped the side of my head and groaned in misery at whatever I had just experienced… a memory or a vision or something, I wasn't sure.

"Are you alright?" Kyon asked me. "Or has Haruhi finally gotten to your head?"  
"Me?!" Cried the future club leader. "He took one look at Nagato and fainted! Is it love, Shinji?"

Hardly. I sat up and looked around the room. A quick glance at my watch showed that I had probably been out for around five minutes. The girl who had more or less caused me to faint had went back to reading her book, while Kyon and Haruhi stood on either side of me. Kyon looked agitated, and Haruhi crossed her arms.

"All right, out with it," she ordered. "What happened?"  
Nothing at all. I just need to go see Ayanami; maybe her presence will make me feel better.

"Just because you fainted isn't a proper excuse to get out of club activities."  
Kyon and I stared at her incredulously. What would be a proper excuse, then; death?!

"Well, look, how about we go visit your friend and continue our planning activities along the way?" Kyon suggested, acting as mediator.  
"That's a great idea!" Haruhi declared. "Good job, Kyon; you might be useful for more than just grunt work, like Shinji!"

Gee, thanks.

"All right then, Kyon, you get my things! Nagato, you're coming with us! Shinji, you know where we're going, so you tell me which direction to go!" Haruhi pointed out the door, eliciting me to roll my sigh and Kyon to plant his face in his palm again.

I briefly wondered what Gods I had angered to deserve such a fate as being the lackey of Haruhi Suzumiya. I then realized that, when you kill Angels for a living, there's probably a _lot_ of Divine Beings you piss off. Seeing as there was nothing I could do about that or the girl before me, I simply picked up my handbag and shook my head clear of the fuzziness before walking out of the door. Kyon grabbed his and Haruhi's bags, and the girl – Nagato – obediently stood up and began to follow us, reading her book as we went.

"This better be good, Shinji!" Haruhi said to me. "I fully expect to at least enjoy this trip!"

Well, I thought, so long as everything goes the way it should, we have nothing to worry about.

* * *

I won't bore you with details of the walk and train ride there; suffice to say that Haruhi declared to us that we must show up to the club every day or "you're as good as dead!" Seeing as dying isn't on my list of things to do, I reluctantly agreed. Kyon told me that as for the paperwork he had sent in, the Student Council had either rejected it or was simply ignoring it, but we both knew that Haruhi wouldn't care less if they had tried to come kick her out of the Literature Club room.

We had asked Haruhi just what we were to name this club, but she had responded with, "We can decide on all that later! Right now the most important thing is to recruit members! We still need at least 1 more member, but I want to get 3!" I had sighed when I heard that, realizing that she had included the pale girl, Nagato Yuki, in with us. "Don't worry; I'll be able to gather more people soon enough! In fact, I already have someone in mind!"

Oh dear; how can I not worry about it? My unease became more profound at the thought of Haruhi waltzing into a club and just choosing a random club member, declaring, "You're now part of my club!" and yanking the poor student out of their more favored club. It sounded like something she would do.

Anyway, we approached Tokyo-3 NERV Hospital, the privately owned medical facility owned by, you guessed it, NERV; my employer in a way, the company my father runs, and the organization which runs Tokyo-3, in a sense. Utilizing some of the best doctors and scientists, for the right price one could get into T3NH and have… just about anything cured.

It was a prestigious hospital, one of only 3 in the world - the others being in Hamburg, Germany and Boston, Massachusetts and incidentally the site of two other NERV branches – so this particular facility was well cared-for and maintained. As we entered the main lobby, Kyon and Haruhi were somewhat awed by the bright and rather expensive looking place, while I, having been in here myself many times before, saw nothing special.

"Nice hospital," Haruhi muttered. "Your friend's family must have a lot of money…"  
No, not money; we're just NERV-owned.

"Again with the mecha pilot," Haruhi growled as I stepped up the receptionist's desk and greeted her. "I swear-"  
"Hey, Fujiko," I said to the girl behind the desk. "My friends and I are here to see Rei."  
"Hey, don't interrupt me!" Haruhi shouted.

"Of course, Shinji-kun," the blonde replied. "Just give me your ID card."  
I nodded and pulled out my wallet before staring blankly at the card that had been handed to me by my mother; my renewed NERV Identification Badge.

**---------- Ikari Shinji - - - - - 6-1403-02350-1 - - - - - E-9  
****---------- Third Child - - - - - H 167cm - - - - - W 77kg  
****---------- Sergeant Major - - - - - Security Clearance: Blue **

There was also a profile image of me, from my Class 2-A days, and a golden ID chip and magnetic strip that held all the relevant information.

I handed the card to Fujiko and looked back at the others. Kyon was looking around the building impatiently while Haruhi stared at me, her arms crossed expectantly and her face twisted into a scowl. Yuki, meanwhile, continued to read, pushing her glasses up and turning the page occasionally.

"All right," Fujiko chimed. "Everything checks out. They haven't moved her, Shinji-kun, so she'll be there."

Is she conscious yet?

"I don't know yet, Shinji," replied the receptionist. "You'll just have to see."  
Alright, then. Let's go, everyone.

The four of us piled into a wide elevator. I pushed the "4" button and waited for the doors to close.  
"Hey, hold that elevator!" A voice shouted. Haruhi stopped her scowling at me to looked out the doors while Kyon simply stared out, his eyes narrowing somewhat. I peered out the doors as well… and pushed the "door shut" button.

"What are you doing?" hissed Haruhi. I tightly held my finger on the button, ignoring her as the doors sealed shut… until two arms shoved their way through them and forced them open.

I was greeted with a smiling gray-haired, red-eyed, slightly pale boy. He was about Kyon's height and looked at me with amusement. "Wow, that was close, wasn't it, Shin-chan?"

"…Shin-chan?" Haruhi echoed. Kyon blinked.  
"Shin-chan?" he muttered. Yuki kept quiet.

Yes, standing before us in the elevator was my "friend" and fellow Child, Kaworu Nagisa. A boy so unabashedly gay for me it was disturbing sometimes. I backed up three steps to allow him some room, dragging Haruhi with me and planting her against the wall, with me at the corner. Haruhi glared at me.

"Let go!" she growled. Kaworu chuckled and walked up to me, leaning toward me by putting a hand against the wall by my head.  
"Uh… hey, Kaworu-san." I muttered. "I didn't expect you here…" Kaworu's smile never faltered as he looked into my eyes. Please, stop that. I'm resisting the urge to punch you in the face.

"Now, now, Shin-chan," Kaworu said, using his other hand to lift up my chin slightly and forcing me to get dangerously close to his face. "You know as well as I do that sometimes I like to see Ayanami-san, too."

Yes, that's great. _Now let go of me.  
_Kaworu suddenly stood up straight, seemingly disappointed that I wouldn't make out with him.

"We're almost here," he said. "I'll let you and your friends go in first." With that, the elevator doors dinged open, and I practically ran outside, trying to get far, far away from the Fifth Child and his insane seduction techniques.

"Man, what's up with him?" Haruhi whispered to me as she took to one side of me and Kyon the other, with Yuki trailing slightly behind. "You broke up with him and he can't take a hint?"

Please, don't say that! I have never dated Kaworu and don't plan on it! Look, he used to be simply a friend of mine, but recently with what happened between me and… the Second Child, he's been coming on to me, offering me, and I quote, "comfort in his arms."

"I'm sorry," Kyon said. "Must be hard."  
"Hmm… could be cute," Haruhi wondered briefly.  
No, no, no! I smacked my forehead and continued walking, glancing to make sure we hadn't passed Ayanami's room. We hadn't, and soon we were standing in front of Room 402.

"Well, here it is," I told them. "Look, let's be quiet in here… it kind of… messes with the room somewhat, if you make too much noise… Suzumiya, that goes double for you."  
"Hey!" Haruhi replied indignantly. I grinned at her, satisfied with myself. "…oh, very funny, so-called 'Third Child', but mark my words; payback is a bitch."

I paled slightly and quickly slid my ID card in the reader, unlocking the door. I held it open and let the others file inside.  
In stark contrast to the rest of the hospital, Room 402 was dark. The lights were out and the curtains were drawn shut, and only the silent beeping of the EKG monitor was the only sound in the room. A couch and three chairs surrounded a small bed, which on it lay… one of my greatest failures.

Here, laying on this bed, was Rei Ayanami, age 15. The First Child, I assumed that Rei was chosen before the rest of us to pilot an Evangelion. She was assigned the Prototype, Unit-00, though sometimes she can pilot my Eva, Unit-01.

"The… First Child, huh?" Kyon whispered. "…she looks like Nagato."

Yuki looked up and right at Rei's sleeping form before going back to her book. Whether she didn't know or care escaped me. Haruhi took a sympathetic glance at the girl, showing me a previously-unseen side of her.

"What happened?" she asked me. I took a seat in one of the chairs, closest to the bed, and started for one reason or another playing with Rei's light blue hair.

"…Three months ago, there was an Angel attack," I began. Kyon and Haruhi nodded; that was common knowledge, at any rate. "Our initial attempts at attacking the Angel ended almost in disaster. My Unit-01 was blasted in the chest by the enemy's particle beam weapon, Unit-02 almost lost an arm, and Unit-00 was still in recovery, so it was no use. Touji's Eva was having feedback errors, and Ken's hadn't come in from Germany yet. As for Unit-05…" I paused. "Well, all Kaworu did was fly around and take notes… which actually proved to be useful."

I entered "flashback mode", speaking without thinking. "My Unit-01 was heavily damaged, but the enemy went inert. Misato had an idea to attack the enemy with a Positron Cannon, but to do so would take all the power in Japan. I was the shooter, Rei was the shield; she was using the heat panels of a US Space Shuttle as a shield. Unit-02 was backup… and her pilot didn't enjoy that thought much."

"There was an argument…" I shuddered. "And eventually the Second Child got her way. She became the shooter in Unit-02, and I became backup. She lay on the ground and took aim at the Angel… and when she fired, so did the Angel. Rei jumped in the way and deflected the blast… and I… stood there and did nothing." I suddenly felt ashamed. "I should've done something, anything, to protect Rei… but I didn't. The Angel's particle beam blasted its way through the shield and impaled Unit-00 like it did me, and cracked the Entry Plug… The chemicals we use to sync with the Eva went from room temperature to boiling in a matter of milliseconds."

I felt a sting… was I crying? "We ejected the Entry Plug and set it on the ground. In my haste, I got out of my Eva and opened the plug myself as the Second Child destroyed the Angel. The plug was hot…" I stared at my hands; the burn scars were still apparent where the heat had burned through my plug suit. "and when I finally ripped it open, Rei had almost boiled alive. She was weak… and she collapsed in my arms."

"Rei died three times that night," I recalled. "The best they could do was get her into the comatose state she's in now while her body heals itself." I looked away, silent. "…It's my fault. If I hadn't failed to protect her, she wouldn't be like this. It's all my fault!"

I lost it. I buried my face in my hands and started crying, losing all my composure in a second as a flood of memories I didn't really want to have came back and assaulted me… all of them, memories of that day, that day that I almost lost one of the only people who had ever gotten really close to me. She hadn't died, not yet anyway… no, instead she was just laying here, in that weird limbo between life and death… and it was all because of me.

"…" it was silent around me as I poured out my grief into my open hands. What had I done? _What had I done?!_

"…Shinji…" a quiet voice whispered. I felt a hand on my back. Looking up, I saw through blurry vision the concerned, quiet faces of Haruhi and Kyon looking back at me. "…I don't think Ayanami-san would want you crying like this, Shinji," Haruhi whispered. "It's not befitting a man."

"Besides," Kyon said. "If she was in your position, I doubt she'd be blaming herself for something out of her control. If you _had_ done something – like jump in front of that beam weapon – all you would have succeeded in doing is getting yourself in her position, and without that shield _you_ might not have been so lucky as to actually survive."

I hardly call a comatose state surviving. I wiped my face of my tears and looked at Kyon and Haruhi and Nagato.

"Be that as it may," a fourth voice echoed. I glared at Kaworu as he strolled into the room. "The fact that Rei is still alive is proof enough that the shield was effective, Shin-chan… you needn't worry about her or what you didn't do." He smiled at me. "Besides, I much prefer a live Ikari Shinji over a dead Ikari Shinji."

* * *

A/N: 33 longer than the previous chapter... but anyway.

Kaworu is probably OOC in this, but I don' care. It fits my idea of how the EVA kids would act a year down the road, and after certain events have happened that I'll get into.

But that's later. I haven't even gotten around to Mikuru-chan.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: One of my reviewers asked me about the timeline… well, sorta. More like, I haven't done a very good job in explaining it.

I'll be honest: There's a lot I _can't_ explain due to storyline reasons. However, if you've read _Angelic Days_, it's best to start from the end of Volume 4 and add about eight months onto that to get the current timeline. As for everyone else, you'd probably know it better as a further extension of the Episode 26 Alternate Universe we were introduced to. An episode 26 with Evas and Angels and all that…

* * *

Afterward, we parted ways for the day. Kyon and I walked together before splitting ways at the train station, reflecting on my life as an EVA pilot. Haruhi finally decided that "maybe you're not telling the entire truth, but you can be sure that Ayanami-san will become part of the club as soon as she wakes up! I've already inducted her!" much to my horror. Kyon had decided that he wasn't entirely skeptical anymore, though overwhelming evidence in my favor (including my NERV ID Card) gave me some credit. 

I went home and after muttering a half-hearted hello to my parents, went to bed. My mom gave me a semi-concerned look before resuming her evening activities while father watched the evening news.

**

* * *

The Angelic Days of Haruhi Suzumiya  
****Chapter 3 (_The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya_)**

* * *

It's strange; a year ago I would've been intimidated by my father and his… well, _commanding_ presence. But now, I can actually sit at the dinner table at nights and actually talk with him. That might be because now we have something in common – that is to say, our jobs have given us a connection of sorts. Sometimes the entire Ikari family will sit down and discuss future plans for the agency, though mostly I keep quiet and really only listen when it concerns the Evangelions. Did you know we're going to be getting remote-operated EVAs? They're called the "Eva 5-series." 

Anyway, I didn't really sleep so much as lay there, and so the next day I was almost totally late for school. I was still somewhat depressed from the day before, but as much as I hate to say it, Haruhi's energized self kind of kept that at bay. I would never admit it, but watching her bounce around is amusing. Especially during PE, when more of her bounces around.

But soon I once again found myself waiting on Haruhi with Kyon and Nagato in the Literature Clubroom. Kyon was attempting to strike up a conversation with the pale Ayanami-clone while I read _Full Metal Panic: Continuing on My Own._

"What are you reading?" he asked her. Nagato Yuki answered by raising the book and showing us the cover. My limited English translated it into something like… _The Fall of Hyperion_, or so I think, at any rate. I recall my father reading the Japanese translation of it. For this girl to read the English version without fail was actually quite an achievement.

"Is it interesting?" Nagato Yuki pushed up her glasses – which reminded me eerily of father – before replying in an empty voice.  
"…Unique."

This was quickly becoming a battle to make her speak more than two syllables at once.

"Which part?" I asked.  
"…All of it."

"So you like reading?" Kyon prodded.  
"Very."

"…I see…"

And with that, the words ceased and we went back to doing nothing, as before. I took a quick glance at Nagato again, and in her place flashed an image of that other Rei in my mind, the quiet one that sat by the window in class and looked out of it in silence.

…Can I go home now?

Just as I went back to reading about Sosuke and Kaname's adventures, the door was literally kicked open. "Sorry I'm late! It took me some time trying to catch this one!"  
So it's okay if you're late but not us?!

I closed the book and looked at Haruhi, who was waving at us with one hand and had her other hand locked onto someone else's wrist. I don't believe it; she actually abducted another person! She dragged in the victim and for some reason… locked the door with a click. The light-haired girl she brought in shuddered with fear.

…She's cute.

I sighed; this must be Haruhi's chosen one.

"W… what are you doing?" she asked, her eyes brimming with tears. "W...where is this place? Why did you bring me here? And, w...why are you locking the door? What do you want with me?"

"Shut up!" Haruhi barked with such power that the girl did in fact shut up. "Let me introduce you; everyone, this is Asahina Mikuru-chan." With that, she stopped; it seemed like that was all for introductions at any rate.

Silence filled the clubroom. Haruhi looked triumphant, Nagato Yuki continued to read like nothing had happened, the new girl Asahina Mikuru looked like she could pass out from here at any moment, and Kyon looked angry.

Just as I was opening my mouth to speak, Kyon cut me off. "Where did you abduct her from?"  
"This isn't abduction!" Haruhi defended herself. "I just forced her to come with me!" You idiot! That's the same thing! "I found her daydreaming in the second year classroom, so I caught her from there. I explore the corners of the school during recess, so I've seen her a few times already."

So that's where you've been- wait, this isn't the time to be thinking about this.

"Anyway, she's our senpai!"

"So?" Kyon asked. Both of us had incredulous looks on our faces. I honestly wondered if she thought about doing stuff before she actually, you know, _did_ them.  
"Here, have a look," Haruhi said, pointing at Mikuru. "Isn't she so cute? I believe Moé characters are important!"

"…Excuse me, what?" I asked.  
"You know, Moé! The factor to turn people on! Basically, most detective stories have that one character that would turn people on and cause them to be pitied."

…Just what the hell is your problem?!

I gave Mikuru a once-over. Small body, cute face… long light-brown hair. She could easily be mistaken for an elementary school student. Large eyes, plus small face, equal super cute. If you gave her a magic jewel, she _could_ be part of the crew from _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS._ "And that's not all!"

Suddenly, Haruhi gave from behind and starting groping Asahina's breasts through her sailor uniform. The poor girl let out a piercing scream, but Haruhi continued, undeterred. "She's so small, yet somehow her breasts are larger than mine! A cute face plus large breasts is also an important factor for turning people on!"

I think I'm going to faint. Stop that!

"…Wow, they really are big." Haruhi shoved her hands into Asahina's shirt and continued groping. "Man, this pisses me off! She's so cute, but her breasts are so much bigger than mine!"

"H…Help!" the poor girl yelled. I couldn't take it anymore. Kyon and I looked at each other and nodded, striding over and grabbing Haruhi by the back of the collar, yanking her back and off of Asahina just as she was about to dive her hands into the girl's skirt.

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?!"_ we chorused.  
"But they're so big!" Haruhi protested, looking up at us like she had done nothing wrong. "It's true! Why don't you two give 'em a go as well?"

Asahina moaned weakly, falling to her knees.  
"…I don't think so," I muttered. I chanced a look over at Nagato to see that she was still reading. You'd think things like this were a common occurrence.

"Hey," Kyon said. "You can't be thinking… the sole reason for bringing Asahina-sempai here is because she's cute and has large breasts?"

"Of course!" Oh my god, she really is an idiot. "A mascot-like character like her is necessary!"  
Necessary?!

Asahina tidied herself up and looked up at me. Don't look at me like this, it's embarrassing.

"Mikuru-chan," Haruhi began. "Are you in any other clubs?"  
"Y… Yes…" the girl replied fearfully. "The Calligraphy Club-"  
"Quit that! It'll get in the way of my club activities!"

This girl asks the impossible. I wouldn't be surprised if soon she would be asking me to pilot Unit-01 down the city to pick her up an ice-cream cone. Asahina looked between me and Kyon, as if asking us to rescue her from this insane woman that was Haruhi Suzumiya. She then looked between us, her eyes wide. I followed her stare toward Yuki, who had stopped reading to look at Asahina. She then whispered:

"…I see. I understand…"

Wait, what did you understand? "I'll quit the Calligraphy Club and join your club." Her voice was sad and defeated. "But I don't know what the Literature Club does…"

"Well, this isn't exactly the Literature Club," I started to explain. "See, Haruhi asked Nagato-san here to borrow this clubroom for her own purposes. The club you've joined is actually nameless and… hell, I don't even know what this club is for!"

Asahina stared at me, then at Kyon, her mouth open.

"That won't be a problem anymore!" Haruhi suddenly interjected.  
Oh God.

"I've just thought of a name!" She declared loudly. She leaped up on the table and looked down at the four of us like she had just single-handedly defeated all the Angels.

"…well then, let's hear it," Kyon muttered, sounding completely like he didn't want to hear it.

"The SOS Brigade!"

**S**_ekai wo  
_**O**_oini moriagerutame no  
_**S**_uzumiya Haruhi no Dan_

The **S**preading Excitement All **O**ver the World with **S**uzumiya Haruhi Brigade, also known as the SOS Brigade… well, I've heard worse names (honestly, NERV?) but I've heard better… well, far better. I guess she wanted to stand out, too; counting all of us, we had five people already, but Haruhi had already stated that she wanted more than five. Even after we met the requirements, I had a feeling that she'd continue to call us the SOS Brigade long after. I looked around and noted everyone's bewildered and (in Yuki's case) neutral expressions.

Well… either way, it's fine with me.

* * *

A few days later I sat with Kyon and Haruhi in homeroom again, deeply wishing I could speak with Hikari and her friends instead of the newly appointed Commander.  
"Do you know what we need next?" Haruhi asked us as she looked out the window. In her reflection, I could see her gleaming eyes. 

I don't care.

"Who knows?" Kyon asked. Haruhi looked at us, grinning.  
"A mysterious transfer student!" A… a what?

"And just what is the definition of 'mysterious transfer student'?" Kyon asked her. One day I really need to get him to shut up.  
"Well…" Haruhi thought about it for about two milliseconds. "Those that get transferred in two months after school begins to a warzone like Tokyo-3 is definitely mysterious. What do you think?"

Well no joke! Anyone who transfers in that this point could be considered mysterious, then!  
"Well maybe they work for NERV," Kyon said, speaking from a normal person's point of view. I nodded in agreement.

"No, that would be too forced and unnatural!" Haruhi glared at us like we had just suggested something outrageous.  
"Then what's natural for you?" we asked her.

"…Mysterious transfer student… will they ever appear?" Haruhi asked herself, looking out the window again.

"You never listen to us, do you?!"

And so the day began.

* * *

As it turned out, there were rumors that Haruhi was plotting something, and Kyon and I were her cohorts.  
Touji and Kensuke confronted us about it. "Hey, just what are you guys up to with Haruhi?" Touji asked us.  
"Are you guys sharing her or something?" Kensuke asked, a perverted look on his face. 

Absolutely not! And that's disgusting! And for that matter, Kyon, just what the hell am I doing?

"Try not to do anything ridiculous," Kensuke warned us, pushing up his glasses. "We're not in junior high, but we're still EVA pilots. Just imagine what would happen to you if they found out you helped vandalize the school or something."

"Well… if it was just Haruhi," I started. "I wouldn't worry about it. But now she's dragging Nagato-san and Asahina-sempai in with her."

"As men, it's our duty to protect them," Kyon agreed. "We can't risk them getting involved."

How considerate of us! I suddenly felt proud of myself; it seems like I can protect people in more than just my EVA, but in real life too.

Too bad I can't put a leash on Haruhi.

* * *

And so, another day at the SOS Brigade. Everyone was here, as usual; Nagato was sitting next to the window, reading some book about an old movie or something; Asahina-sempai was sitting at one end of the table as she watched Kyon and I play Shoji; it was even right now. 

"I _so_ want a computer!"

Ever since Haruhi founded the brigade, the Literature Clubroom had slowly been gathering more things, and not just books.

In the corner now stood a portable hanger cabinet, a flask and cups, a teapot, a CD/MD playing radio, a freezer, sound recorder, cooking pan, bowl, and all sorts of cooking utensils. Now what? Does she plan for us to live here? And where did she get all of this and… wait, that player is _mine!_

Haruhi was sitting at a desk she had stolen from God knows where. She had also found a small black NERV pyramid and written on the side of it with white marker "Danchou" (Brigade Commander) and placed it on the corner of her desk. She also wore a red armband with the same phrase on it.

"In this day and age, we don't even have a computer!" she was complaining. "This won't do!"

And why not? Very few clubs have computers anyway.  
I moved a piece and winced as Kyon took it, adding to his pile. Haruhi suddenly beamed and looked at us with a smile that would make my father shiver.

"That's why we're going to get one." She declared, looking like she had just gone to another brilliant conclusion.  
"And just where are you going to get a computer?" I asked her, taking one of Kyon's pieces. "Surely you're not going to force me to rob NERV or something."  
"Of course not!" Haruhi replied. "It must be closer than that."

Oh okay.  
Wait, what?!

"Mikuru, Kyon, Shinji, follow me," we obediently stopped our game and followed Haruhi out of the room, down the corridor, and to the Computer Study Group two rooms down. "Here, take these!" Haruhi thrust two instant cameras in our hands. What was she planning on doing with these? "Listen carefully!"

Haruhi pulled us close and whispered her plan in our ears, except for Asahina. I balked.  
"You… you can't do that!" I protested.  
"Does it matter?" Haruhi asked innocently.

I groaned. Of course it wouldn't matter to you. I looked at Asahina and gave her a sympathetic look. She needs to run away now!  
Kyon opened his mouth to speak, but Haruhi had already knocked on the door.

"Hello there! I've come to get a computer from you!"

As we entered the room, I noticed how cramped it was. The sound of whirring cooling fans was the only noise in the room as the computer group looked at us uncertainly. I blinked when I recognized Kensuke, who had a somewhat frightened look on his face.

"Who's in charge here? I demand to speak with him!" She glared at them, as if daring her to make a move.  
"I'm the president," a brown-haired boy confessed, standing and bowing to us. "Can I help you?"  
"Do I have to repeat myself?" Haruhi asked. "I just said 'give me a computer'!"  
The Computer President gave her a 'what the hell?' look on his face before shaking his head.

"That won't do. The school doesn't fund us enough, so we had to buy these computers with our hard-earned money! We can't just give them to you for free!"  
"Besides," Kensuke agreed. "Shinji there makes more than enough money!"

Don't mention that!

"What does it matter?" Haruhi asked, ignoring Kensuke. "Just one would do; you have plenty anyways!"  
"That… wait a moment! Just who are you guys anyway?!" Haruhi puffed out her chest and looked proud of herself.

"I'm Suzumiya Haruhi, Danchou of the SOS Brigade, these three are my subordinates!"

Since when?!

"I command you in the name of the SOS-Brigade!" Haruhi demanded, pointing a finger. That line sounded like it was ripped from an episode of _Sailor Moon._ "Hand over a computer at once! No excuses!"

"Absolutely not!" The President protested. "Go buy one of your own!"  
"Fine then," Haruhi glowered, smirking darkly. "We have our ways." Her eyes were a glare. This was bad; she was actually going to do it! I shot a sympathetic glance toward Kensuke.

Haruhi grabbed Asahina by the arm and pulled her close. She didn't even have a chance as Haruhi grabbed the president's arm and shoved his hand on her breast.

"Kyaaa!"  
"Wha?!"

I pressed the shutter in time with Kyon, getting a different angle so Haruhi wouldn't show. Haruhi grabbed Asahina by the collar so she couldn't escape and pushed the president's hand deeper onto Asahina's chest.

"Kyon, Shinji! One more picture, both of you!"

Kyon and I looked at each other and sighed before clicking our camera shutters again. Asahina-sempai, Mr. Computer President, Kensuke, I'm deeply sorry for all of this. Just as Haruhi was about to stuff the President's hand under Asahina's skirt, he finally broke free.

"_Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!"  
_I have a feeling Haruhi gets that a lot.

Haruhi waved her finger at the blushing president.

"Now, now!" She said. "We now have photographic evidence of you sexually harrassing our members! If you don't want the school to see these pictures, then hand over the computer!"

"Just what kind of a joke is this?!"  
I understood how the president felt, but kept my mouth shut. In the back of my head, this was getting good. Like one of those high-school comedies I've seen so many of.

"You forcefully grabbed my hand!" The president protested. "I'm totally innocent!"  
"Oh _really_?" Haruhi asked him. "You can try explaining, but just who in their right mind would believe you?" I sighed and picked up Asahina-sempai, who had collapsed in the commotion. She was conscious and blushed when I picked her up. Damn, too cute. The president continued to fight a losing battle.

"My members are witnesses to my innocence! This was not of my will! I have an Evangelion pilot on my side, people believe those!" The other computer club members nodded their heads vehemently.

"That's right!"  
"The president is innocent!"  
Kensuke stood up, looking proud. "I'll use my prestige to defend our honored President!"

If Haruhi could listen to you guys, then she wouldn't be who she was. You just made things worse.

"You, glasses," Haruhi pointed at Kensuke, then at me. "You are nobody. Shinji is the Number One Evangelion pilot. He's better and has more reputation than you!"

Wait, I thought you didn't believe any of that! I sighed as Kensuke sputtered before sitting down.  
"I'll just tell them you all gang-raped Asahina-sempai!" Everyone's face in the room except Haruhi's turned white at that. Did it really have to come to this? I could've just threatened to flatten his house on the next attack.

"S…Suzumiya-san…" Asahina muttered weakly. Haruhi ignored her.  
"So how about it? Are you gonna give us one or not?!" The president's face went through a myriad of colors of before turning dark. He surrendered.  
"Damnit, just get one and get out!" With that, the president sat down dejectedly. The members all rushed toward him.

"President!"  
"Get ahold of yourself!"  
"Are you all right?"

Haruhi ignored all of it. "Which is the best model?"  
What a cold girl. The angry club members glared at her, Kensuke in the lead, but Haruhi simply pointed at me and Kyon and our camera's. Kensuke looked down.

"D… damn it, that one!" Kensuke pointed at the president's. I suppressed a smirk; I knew for a fact that, while good, Kensuke's custom machine was good enough to overpower a meager stock model. I gave Kensuke a knowing glance, letting him know I wouldn't say a word.

Haruhi looked at the computer and inspected it, even pulling out a piece of paper and reading it.

"Well… it _is_ the latest model." She muttered. She suddenly glared at Kensuke. "You, glasses! I want yours!"  
"W-what?!" Kensuke shouted. "But that's not even a regular model!"  
"But!" Haruhi insisted before flicking on the monitor and turning it to face everyone. I groaned when I saw the NERV OS. "You're an Evangelion pilot, and you have money! I know yours is the best one!"

"But I just built it yesterday!" Kensuke whined.  
"Camera," Haruhi said in a sing-song voice.  
"…T-take it, you thieves!" Kensuke whined.

Haruhi's greed was bottomless. After forcing Kyon to help drag over the mostly-wireless computer from this room to ours, she forced the Computer Group to assemble a LAN connection to their computer, so we could use the Internet. I sighed and tended to the girl in my arms.

"Asahina-sempai." I whispered. "You want to go back?" The girl choked back a sob and nodded, burying her face in my arm.  
Haruhi, you idiot, can't you grope yourself?! For someone who undresses in front of guys, this should be easy for you!  
What did she want a computer for, anyway?

…To make an SOS-brigade website, of course.  
So who's going to make it?

"You, of course!" Haruhi said to Kyon. "Since you are so free lately, you might as well do it! I'll be too busy looking for the remaining club members!"  
The computer was placed on the same desk as the "Danchou" pyramid. Haruhi was talking to Kyon and I while surfing 2chan. "Have it done in a couple of days, Kyon. We won't be able to do anything otherwise, so it's all up to you!"

Kyon sighed, putting a palm up to his face, and I smacked my forehead. It looked to me like Kyon was going to have a long couple of days.

* * *

After that, I had to go do a sync test, so I don't really know what happened. On the way, I told Kensuke I'd help him by a new computer, and he quickly agreed. I could understand why; he probably felt like it was my fault partially, even though all I did was click the camera shutter. 

The sync test was unusually easy that day; I had jumped another five points up the scale, while Touji and Ken and Kaworu were all about the same as always.

The next day went by smoothly, though Haruhi disappeared soon after lunch. I hoped that meant she would be out of school for the rest of the day, but I knew that would never happen. It was probably another bad omen.

I found myself walking with Kyon to the clubroom and entering it automatically.

"Hello," I muttered.  
"Yo," Kyon said half-heartedly.

Asahina and Nagato Yuki were already there. I wondered if they ever actually go to class. Asahina greeted us with a relieved expression. I blinked twice at seeing her. You would think that after yesterday, you would never show your face in school again. But oddly, that was the first thing that came out of her mouth.

"Where's Suzumiya-san?" She asked us.  
Ugh, do I look like her keeper?

"God knows," Kyon shrugged. She hasn't been in class since lunch… probably off to steal something else."  
"Don't worry," I assured her. "Kyon and I will do everything we can to protect you from Haruhi and her insanity."

"Thank you…" Asahina whispered, bowing to us. Stop that, it's too cute. "I'm counting on you two!"  
"No problem!" I gave her a thumbs-up.

Despite all of our reassurances, it was quickly thrown out the window. Again. The door was opened with a loud kick and in bounded chaos itself in the form of Haruhi Suzumiya, carrying two paper bags.

"Sorry guys, I was delayed." The girl apologized. I blinked; that was new. However, it just gave me more bad vibes. I didn't like what was in those bags and I hadn't even seen them yet. Haruhi smiled at us and dropped the bags on the table before turning and locking the door with an audible click.

Is that really necessary?  
"Suzumiya, what are you planning?" Kyon asked her. "No blackmailing or thieving again!"

"I would never do anything like that!" Haruhi said defensively.  
Wait, then how the hell do you explain that computer?!

"Never mind that!" Haruhi ignored me. "Look at this instead!" She reached in one of the paper bags and pulled out some paper. "These are flyers I made to introduce our SOS Brigade to everyone! It was a lot of work to get these; I had to sneak into the copying room and print off 200 of these!"

Aha, so that's where you've been, right? The little sneak would have been in serious trouble if she had been caught, but whatever. I looked half-heartedly at the flyer.

_The SOS-dan founding principle:_

_We, the SOS Brigade, are seeking all sorts of paranormal events in the world. We welcome everyone who has experienced, is experiencing, or senses they will experience some sort of supernatural event, to come to us for consultation. We will do our best to answer your questions. Please note that we do not handle normal paranormal events; it must be a paranormal event that we deem to be very shocking. Our email address is…_

Oh dear. This _definitely_ sounds like something a drunken Major would come up with. And I'm not naming any names, Miss Katsuragi.

"All right, now to hand out the flyers. There's still a lot of kids in school, so now's our chance!" Haruhi had already planned most if not all of this out. If she applied this skill to normal, everyday things, she could be a real winner! I picked up one set of bags and Kyon got the other.

"Oh, you two don't have to go," Haruhi told us suddenly. "Just me and Mikuru-chan will do."

I resisted the urge to smack my forehead. Something even more embarrassing than before is going to happen, I can feel it. I looked at Asahina, who looked confused, naturally. Please, run, before it's too late!

Haruhi ripped the other bag from Kyon, who had peeked inside and had a shocked expression on his face. I knew it couldn't be good. I stared as she pulled out a black leotard, bunny ears and tail, and all the other odds and ends that make up a bunny suit. I blinked twice again, this time in unabashed horror.

This was horrible. Haruhi was going to wear that, or worse yet, force Asahina to. But then Haruhi pulled out a second bunny suit, and my horror grew. She planned on both of them dressing up like that! But just to hadn out flyers?! Was she planning on selling herself out or something?! I squinted; I couldn't bear the thought of innocent Asahina-sempai being sold out for… for "favors" like that just to promote her club.

"You don't plan on-" I began.  
"Of course I do!" Haruhi interrupted. "These attention-grabbers will be sure to succeed!" She shoved one of the costumes onto Asahina. "Here, Mikuru-chan, put this on!"

"W-what?!" Asahina asked, shocked.  
"Put this on!" Haruhi was smiling at Asahina. "Go on!"  
"But-but,"

About then, Haruhi decided to take action into her own hands. She dropped her bunny outfit and waltzed over to Mikuru, grabbing the poor girl and ripping off her bow tie. She wasn't planning on undressing her, was she?! But alas, this is Haruhi, so that's exactly what she started doing.

It was then that fifteen years of conditioning kicked in. Without a second thought, I bolted for the locked clubroom door, grabbing Kyon by the collar as I did. I fumbled desperately with the lock for about three seconds before finally unlocking it and throwing it open, tossing Kyon out and following, slamming the door shut behind me.

I sighed and leaned back on the door, watching Kyon as he rubbed his neck and shrugged. Behind me I could still hear Asahina and Haruhi's mixed voices as the two of them changed, though Asahina's were more like the cries of a captured kitten than the victorious, boastful voice of Haruhi's, which resembled Asu- The _Second Child's _voice. I squinted me eyes shut as I listed to the two, using sheer force of will alone to not fantasize about what was going on inside.

"Okay, done!"

I sighed and opened the door… and almost closed it again. Waiting for me inside, along with two haphazardly thrown about sailor uniforms, were two bunny girls. The leotard's accentuated all the right places, and both girls fit the costumes well. In fact, they looked quite good!

"Well, what do you think?" Haruhi asked me, twirling. I paused. What to say?  
"…they look good," I replied. "Great, even. But… just why did you put these on? And why isn't Nagato-san wearing one?"

"I could only afford two sets," Haruhi said. "So I couldn't get a third one for Yuki-chan. And Mikuru-chan and I are wearing costumes because these are sure to get people's attention!"

"So… it's not just to show off." Kyon said.  
"Show off what?" Haruhi asked us.

What do you think?! Two beautiful girls wearing costumes like this? You're showing off everything! …not that I don't mind the show, honestly.

"Anyway, we're wasting time," Haruhi said. "We have to go now, Mikuru-chan!"  
Asahina-san dredged up poor resistence as the girl who was strong as an Evangelion dragged the kitten out of the room. She picked up the other bag full of flyers as she left. Asahina grabbed the door feebly, but only managed in shutting it.

I stared after them before looking around the clubroom. Kyon sat down and sighed dejectedly while I began to pick up the girls' clothes. If I were a normal child, this would be something shocking and probably perverted, but having experienced… what I have, it's just not exciting.

I folded the girls' clothes (hoping I matched their sets right) and sat down, sighing and thinking about continuing my book when suddenly my phone rang. I pulled the stupid thing out of my pocket and stared.

**INCOMING CALL:  
****Ikari Yui**

Why was mother calling? Confued, I answered it.  
"Hello?"

"Hey Shinji," my mom's voice came through the earpiece. "Guess what?"  
My eyes widened as my mother told me what she had called to tell me. Unconsciously, my right hand started clenching and unclenching on its own as she told me everything she was supposed to.

"…but you can bring your friends," she was finishing. "We'll be leaving early, just remember that."  
"Yes, mother," I replied.  
"Isn't this exciting?!" My mother said. I sighed.  
"Yes, mother," I said again. This was getting exasperating.

"I've never been on one of them, so hopefully this will be a good trip."

_Nothing good could possibly come out of this trip._

"I'll invite Suzumiya-san and Kyon," I told her, eliciting a surprised look from Kyon.  
"Great! See you later tonight, Shinji!" with that, my mom hung up. I sighed and put the phone away, looking at the only other male of the club.

"So…" I began. "…what do you think about boats?"

* * *

A/N: Here's a really easy clue to figure out for the next chapter.  
"Somewhere, _over the rainbow_, way above…"

And also, the book that Yuki's reading is Frank Herbert's _Dune. _I figure that by 2015 most people will have forgotten about the books. Speaking of which, it's a good book. Go pick it up.

-

**OMAKE TIME:**

It seems to me these days that the omake has become somewhat not as prevalent in fanfiction. I guess that's expected, in a way, but I want to see some omake! Thus, I've decided to invent "Omake Time", a stupid little thing where Haruhi and gang do stupid things. I will warn you – don't expect any sense:

**OMAKE I: "Dance, my minions!"**

_Haruhi:_ Hey, Suzumiya Haruhi here, and on today's _Omake Time_ I'm going to teach my subordinates to dance to the song _Hare Hare Yukai_.

(Haruhi looks at her "subordinates" – Kyon, Yuki, Itsuki, Mikuru, Rei, Asuka, and Shinji.)

_Asuka:_ Su-subordinate?! Since when?! I'm not even in the show yet!

_Rei:_ Well at least you're conscious! I'm a vegetable!

_Haruhi:_ That's not the point! We're going to dance!

_Shinji_: Erm… I suck at dancing.

_Asuka:_ Boy, does he! Man, in the filming of the original _NGE_, he tried dancing and-

(Asuka looks at Shinji's glare.) What?

_Rei:_ Oh, don't be mean to Shinji.

_Itsuki:_ Shh, Rei, it's just getting interesting.

_Rei:_ But I don't want to see Shinji get smacked around!

_Haruhi:_ EVERYONE. SHUT. UP. I want to teach you a dance!

_Mikuru:_ Uh… this isn't going to be embarrassing, is it?

_Haruhi:_ Since when have I _ever_ made you do something embarrassing?

(Collective blank stare at Haruhi.) What?

_Asuka:_ Maybe _I_ should teach them to dance!

_Haruhi:_ But… but I wanna!

_Asuka:_ Sorry, Haruhi-chan, but I get the vote! …right?

(Collective blank stare at Asuka.) Oh son of a bitch.

_Kyon:_ Eh, maybe Yuki should do it.

_Yuki: _…(Yuki picks up her book and throws it at Kyon's face.) No.

_Asuka: _Oh, Kyon just got OWWWNNNNEEED.

_Rei:_ Oh, shut up, Asuka! Quit being like annoying!

_Asuka:_ What did you say?! Oh, it's on, First!

_Rei:_ FINE! Winner gets Shinji!

_Shinji:_ Wait, what?!

_Asuka:_ Deal!

(Rei and Asuka jump at each other, fighting like Evangelions. Haruhi sighs and looks toward us.)

_Haruhi:_ Well, until these two get done fighting, I can't teach them to dance. So until next _Omake Time_, this is Suzumiya Haruhi, signing off!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I understand that Shinji's been nothing but dragged around since the beginning. There's a reason for that; That reason is that I could not think of a better way to set up the world presented than what the author originally did when he first wrote _The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya_. I won't make any excuses for that, but I will ask for you to forgive me, and bear with me when I introduce Itsuki (which will also be in much the same way). I am sorry. The story will get more original, I promise… I hope crosses fingers .

I also introduce a couple of original characters that'll probably make more than one appearance. They'll be obvious.

* * *

"I can't believe I agreed to this." 

Those were the first words out of my mouth as our NERV SV-22 Osprey transport flew over the Sea of Japan. Next to me, an exasperated Kyon and extremely excited Suzumiya Haruhi sat, both of them looking out of the window down toward the water over 300 meters below. Across from me, my mother, Ikari Yui, looked up from her notebook at me.

"Now Shinji," she said. "This isn't really a decision. As the best active Evangelion pilot, you're here in case something goes wrong."

"Just like me!" My commanding officer and former 8th Grade teacher, Major Misato Katsuragi, glanced from the pilot's seat quickly before focusing on… well, the sky ahead. "As the Tactical Officer for NERV, it's my job to be present in case shit hits the fan!"

Yes, yes, I realize this. I sighed and looked out to my left, toward the other Osprey that carried my two friends and fellow pilots, Touji and Kensuke. Although all of us could easily fit into one Osprey, for security reasons we had been split up into two groups. Like anyone was dumb enough to attack salvation's last hope for humanity.

I suddenly looked at Haruhi, who would do such a thing.  
"But… we've got _her_ there," I mumbled. "_She's_ more than competent."

"But you're the Number Three and the leader," Mom countered easily. "Besides, I wouldn't have met your energetic friend there," she gestured toward Haruhi, who hadn't sat still since this trip began.

This was going to be a _long_ trip…

-

**The Angelic Days of Haruhi Suzumiya  
****Chapter 4 (**_**Asuka Strikes!)**_

**-**

"So… you're Ikari Yui-san?"  
That was the first question out of Suzumiya Haruhi's mouth six hours ago.

We had all gathered in front of the train station; my mother and I, Touji, Kensuke, Kyon, and Haruhi. Mother had always been notoriously lax about security protocol, and Section 2 – the guys that were supposed to be our bodyguards – were consistently at odds with her. She had chosen the front of the station, on a school morning, surrounded by hundreds of people, as a meeting spot.

Ah, only my mother.

She had even dressed for the occasion. She was wearing a pink tank top and khaki shorts, having left her signature lab coat back at home with Father, who had only given a disinterested grunt at what was going on; he had already planned for this, I'm sure. She brushed her brown hair away from her green eyes, which apparently were the eyes that made my father fall for her.

Haruhi had also dressed up, sort of. The day of the "bunny girl incident", I had invited an upset Haruhi to a NERV trip to the middle of the ocean. Taking this as a sort-of vacation for some reason, she had come wearing a yellow shirt with the phrase "Boken Desho Desho?" on the front written in bold kanji, and a short jean skirt that showed off her long legs. I knew girls who would die to look like Haruhi did at the moment, but she was more interested in the woman twice her age in front of her.

Oh boy.

Me, Kyon, Touji, and Kensuke were dressed more like… well, guys.

"That would be me," my mother said, smiling at the girl in front of her. "You must be Suzumiya Haruhi-san."  
"You already know who I am?" Haruhi asked, surprised. For that matter, so did I. I hadn't told my mom Haruhi's name!  
"Of course I do," mom smiled. "I make it my job to know who Shinji goes to school with."

Oh, gee, thanks. Then why couldn't you, you know, transfer me _out_ of 1-5?

The train arrived and opened its doors. We stepped onboard and grabbed onto the overhanging grips, ready for a boring journey to Tokyo-3 Airport, where the SV-22 Osprey military transports were waiting for us.

"So what do you do?" she asked my mother.  
"Oh… nothing much." Mom joked. "I'm just the head of Project E."  
"What?" Kyon asked suddenly. It seemed that he had heard of it.

"I helped create the Evangelions," my mom said proudly. Oh God; the one thing my mother had never mastered was being discreet; granted, that was hard for us to do anyway, what with Haruhi here and all, but she could at least _try_ to keep classified matters to herself.

"Y-you?!" Haruhi almost cried, her eyes brimming with wonder. "But you… you…"  
"I… what?" mom replied, confused.  
"It's just… you're this _dork's_ mom and you're part of NERV?" Haruhi jerked a thumb in my direction.

I sighed and smacked my forehead. Please, that's enough out of you.

But Mother continued. She has a knack for talking people's ears off sometimes.  
"That's right." Mom said with pride. "I've been part of NERV for my entire career, since college anyway." Her eyes glossed over slightly. "I think I joined NERV at 22… or something like that," a slightly mischievous look crossed her face. "Of course, all that's classified."

"Aw," Haruhi protested. "You can tell us, Ikari-san! I promise that no enemy government agency or aliens will ever get the information from me!"  
Mother laughed. "Maybe later then, Suzumiya-san."  
"Please, call me Haruhi!"  
"Only if you call me Yui."

Both of you, stop; it's embarrassing me. I sighed and looked out the window as Haruhi attempted to prod my mother of all her NERV secrets, watching the scenery pass as we neared the Tokyo-3 Airport. I wasn't looking forward to this trip and the results of it. For today, three things would be retrieved by NERV; an upgraded Evangelion Unit-02, a shiny new Evangelion Unit-04… and the Second Child.

Today would be the first day in months that I would have to face one Sohryu Asuka Langley once again… and I wasn't looking forward to it. Not at all… stupid bitch.

-

I must have said that last part out loud, because mother shot me a scowl.

"Shinji, language!" she scolded. I winced and sighed.  
"Yes, mother,"  
"Just because you're a pilot doesn't give you the right to disrespect your fellow pilots!"  
"Yes, mother,"  
"Especially someone like Asuka-chan! I know you're not on good terms with her, but you could at least be civil!"  
"Yes, mother,"  
"…you're not even listening to me, are you?"  
"Yes, mother - I mean-"

Mom rolled up her notebook and smacked me in the head with it. Ow, that hurt! "I guess that means you'll listen to me next time, doesn't it?"  
"Sorry, jeez…"

I rubbed my head and looked back over at Haruhi, who had finally stopped moving to stare at a blot on the ocean waters.  
"Looks like we're here!" Misato shouted from her seat. "There's our boat; the _Nimitz_-class supercarrier _Over the Rainbow!_"  
Ugh, what kind of name is that? I feel bad for those sailors.

"Oh, oh!" Haruhi shouted, pointing. "Those two cargo ships; those are the Evas, aren't they?!" Mom giggled.  
"Yep, those are Evangelions Unit-02 and Unit-04," she said. "Pretty soon you'll meet one of the other pilots."

"Really? That's pretty neat," Haruhi stopped and thought for a minute. "What'd you say her name was, Shinji? Langley?"  
"Sohryu Asuka Langley," I said mechanically, looking at the other Osprey. I hoped Touji and Ken were having fun.

"Right, right. I'll have to remember that!"  
"What's the point?" Kyon asked. "It's not like we'll see her any after this,"  
"Quit being a spoil sport!" Haruhi scolded, frowning at Kyon. "I hope to induct her soon after we meet!"

Oh hell no, you did not just say that.

"What, is that a problem?" Haruhi asked me.  
Yes, it's a huge problem!

"No matter, you'll get over it," Haruhi said, and went back to staring out of the side window.  
She really needs to listen to me more.

Anyway, I tried to block out the near future and will myself to think happy thoughts, but none came to mind as I felt the plane start descending toward the carrier, making a lazy loop around the boat as Misato prepared to switch to vertical mode and land on the designated area. I wasn't terribly interested in what Misato was arguing with the Air Traffic Controller about, but remembered that I'd have to be mannered at least a little; Misato had prepped me on that.

There was a thud as the Osprey landed and Misato started the shutoff sequence. The lot of us stood up and stretched briefly. Mom smiled at me and folded her notebook under an arm, waiting for someone to open the door. I glanced at Kyon, who had a totally dull expression on his face.

"Having fun yet?" I joked.  
"Loads," he replied.  
Misato suddenly came to the passenger cell, patting me on the head.  
"Ready, Shinji-kun?" she asked me. Yes, yes, now let's get this going. "All right, then! Let's go!"

Misato unlocked the door and swung it open, hopping down to the deck of the carrier before turning and helping mother out. Kyon and Haruhi and I let ourselves out, and a random sailor showed up and closed the door. Misato put on her beret and let the procession to the ship's welcoming party; three men, all standing at attention. The leader had glasses that hid his eyes and watched us as we closed in.

We stopped some ten feet away from him and nodded before Misato and I snapped into a salute.  
"Sir," Misato said in English. "Major Misato Katsuragi and Sergeant Major Shinji Ikari, asking for permission to come aboard!" The lead man smiled and saluted back.  
"Lieutenant Jack David," the man replied in decent Japanese. "These two are CPO Faulk and MCPO Schmidt. Welcome to… the Rainbow," I noticed the man's eye twitch; obviously he thought the name was stupid too.

"Thank you, sir," Misato and I said. I gestured toward the rest. "This is my mother, Doctor Yui Ikari. The two my age are Kyon and Haruhi Suzumiya. The two coming up, late as usual, are Touji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida. Sweatsuit is Touji, glasses is Kensuke."

Touji and Ken ran up and offered a quick salute. The man known as Jack nodded and gave a quick one back before turning to us.  
"It's about time," he said. "We were beginning to wonder if you'd make it."  
"Well the coordinates were a bit off," Misato admitted with a chuckle. "NERV needs to learn that boats don't stay in the same place for long."

"Are you done yet?"  
Oh, shit!

All of us turned to look at the owner of the voice. The sailors looked annoyed, Misato and mom looked overjoyed, Kyon and Haruhi curious, and Touji, Ken, and I, totally and completely horrified.

I looked at the spaghetti-strap yellow sundress, the A-10 neural connectors worn like a tiara or something, the long red hair and bright blue eyes… and oddly enough, the kinda pale skin; seasick, maybe. Either way, there was no denying the fact as I stared into those eyes with my own. It was _her_.

Mom walked over to her and put a hand on the girl's shoulder, turned, and looked at us. She shot me a warning glare. Sighing, I gestured.  
"Kyon, Haruhi," I said, lacking much enthusiasm. "This is the pilot of Evangelion Unit-02, Sohryu Asuka Langley."  
"Well hello to you too," Asuka deadpanned behind me. "I'm fine, thanks for asking. A little seasick maybe, but otherwise I'm good."

My hand started clenching on its own again as I listened to… the Second Child's grating voice. I ignored the emotions behind it and the owner of the voice itself as I focused on my two classmates. Haruhi and Kyon shared curious looks at the person behind me.

"…Shinji…" mother said in a warning tone.  
Damnit, she's gonna make me speak to her. Sighing, I turned around and looked at Asuka for the first time in months… and was taken aback.

She seemed different somehow as I stared at her more than I had before. Asuka's hair had been tied back into a ponytail, the long auburn locks draped over a shoulder as she stared at me. Her eyes were normally intense and full of life, but these somehow seemed withdrawn. She looked at me with a mixture of pain and regret and… yeah, I guess she missed me, too.

"Uh… hey, Sohryu-san," I said in the most formal voice I could muster. I didn't _want_ to talk with her, and not even my mother could force me to be nice to the girl; not after what she'd done.

"…h-hey… Shinji-kun," Asuka replied, blushing slightly and averting her eyes. "…what's up?"  
"Uh… you know… stuff…" I said, turning around. "These are my friends, Kyon and-"  
"Hi!" Haruhi shouted suddenly, appearing right in front of Asuka and causing both me and her to recoil in surprise. How can she move that fast?! "Suzumiya Haruhi, commander of the SOS Brigade, pleased to meet you, Asuka-chan!"

Asuka-chan?

"Uh… hey there," Asuka said, uncertain, as anyone normal would be. "Suzumiya Haruhi, you said? Well, pleased to meet you, too… I think." Asuka looked at me with confusion, causing me to shrug; I'm not helping you figure out Haruhi. I haven't even done that yet!

About then, Fate acquired a wicked sense of humor and sent a gust of wind our direction… strong enough to blow up Asuka's dress and starting a chain reaction.

I turned in a complete about-face and smacked my forehead.  
Kyon and Haruhi gawked.  
Kensuke groaned and looked down.  
Misato and Mother stared blankly.  
And Touji said something very, very stupid.  
"Whoa, what a view! Not bad, Red Devil!"

"Hey, shut your mouth!" Asuka shouted at Touji. "I should – oh God…" I turned around to see Asuka cover her mouth and fall to her knees. Oh no, she was going to blow! I impulsively backed up from her like she had a disease. Mother practically ran behind Misato; if there's one thing she can't stand, it's people throwing up.

"…uh, you gonna be okay?" Kyon asked uncertainly. No, don't ask her that! Not that he needed to; about three seconds later, Asuka vomited _all over the carrier deck_. The three sailors behind us groaned in annoyance.

"She missed the sea and puked on the deck," one of them was saying. "He's gong to kill us. His realm has been sullied! Still… maybe there's justice in the world after all. The Princess is human." I suppressed a grin as I listened to them talk. Haruhi, meanwhile, had walked around and helped Asuka up.

"God, I'll be glad when there's _land_ beneath my feet." Asuka moaned loudly.  
"What are you talking about?" One of the sailors said. "It's perfectly stable!"  
"Oh shut up, you damn sea-salt!" Asuka shot back before widening her eyes and throwing up _again_, with only Haruhi holding her from falling _into_ it.

"I'll go get that cleaned up, Jack,"  
"Thanks, Robert, you're a life-saver,"  
"Don't forget what you owe me."  
"Goddamnit."

Maybe I should become a Navy pilot after all this is done; it sounds like fun.  
"Well anyway," Misato pressed. "Now that we're all here and Asuka's done spilling her guts, we'd like to-"

"Not yet," Interrupted Jack as he walked up to her. "You want to do anything, you have to see Him first. You're planning on taking over Operational Command, right?" Wow, he's pretty good if he can just figure that out. I didn't even know it. "Well, for that, you'll have to talk with our Lord and Master. This way please," he gestured toward the island of the carrier. We filed behind him; Misato in the lead, followed by Mother, then Me, Kyon, Touji, Kensuke, Haruhi, then Asuka in the back.

I looked behind me. Asuka was leaning onto Haruhi as she tried holding her stomach in, while the SOS-Brigade Commander was saving a good time just talking to her. One of my eyes started twitching; the _last_ thing I need is for those two to get along!

"So who exactly is this?" Mother asked Jack.  
"He is our Lord and Master. He is One Who Has Achieved Mastery of the Shadows Within and the Shadows Without, possessing the Supernal Clarity and Umbral Awn of the Shadow Hand. Choice is his element, Destiny is his forge, Fate is molded by his hands. He commands the Shadows, and they answer his summons. Time bends to his will. He is _der schatterwulf_: Kagerou-sensei the Shadow Master. This carrier is his domain."

"He is the Captain of this ship."

"I… see…" Mother said uncertainly. I could tell she didn't, but that's not something you say in this situation.  
"Well, nevermind, you'll all be going to see him shortly."  
Sounds like he's condemning us to death.

-

The office of the ship's captain was not exactly what I had been expecting.  
It was like a smaller version of my Father's office in HQ, except instead of the Tree of Life on the ceiling, a symbol of a snake eating its own tail was drawn. The captain was standing in the shadows where we couldn't see him.

I paled when I realized that, the way the lights were angled, he had a clear shot at us. Misato had the same realization when I looked over at her; she looked somewhat annoyed and worried. He could be pointing a gun at us and we wouldn't know! That is _not_ a pleasant thought! But the room was doing its job; we were all tense, worried… well, except Haruhi, who strolled out in front of us.

"What the hell is this?" she asked no one. Suddenly, the lights flared on, and sitting in his chair, in almost an exact mockery of my father, sat the ship's captain.

"…What is it, _totei_?" Asked the Captain.  
"The VIPs, sir, and some NonComs," Jack replied, his voice nervous.

"Ah, so I see," the man gestured toward the chairs in front of his desk. "Please, take a seat." Misato and I looked at each other and nodded. As the leaders of the Evangelion units, it would be us.

Too bad it felt like we were "taking one for the team", so to speak. The man opened a file and began to scan it, and so I took the time to give him a once-over.

Full military dress, long black hair tied into a ponytail; twin katana mounted in their scabbards next to the desk; A massive collection of "I-was-there" ribbons: Silver Star, Bronze Star with Combat V and award stars in lieu of subsequent awards... this man was more of a soldier than Misato was, that's for sure.

The man looked up at us, grey eyes scanning our faces. We tried our best to keep quiet as he continued. Suddenly, he seemed to look past us for a second, blinked, and reached into his desk for a second file. "David,"

"Yes, sir?" Jack responded.  
"Get your laptop and bring me the information about case TF7-082012," the man said.

"But isn't that…" he paused. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were squarely focused on the ground in front of him… which was weird, because Haruhi was standing right there. "Oh…. Ooooh! I get it! Yes, sir, right away!"

"Anyway," the man said, turning back to us. "I am Captain Glen Schattermann. Pleased to meet you…"  
"Major Misato Katsuragi," Misato said.  
"Sergeant Major Shinji Ikari," I said.  
"What business do you have here, Major Katsuragi?"

"Well… we've come to requisition control of the Combined Task Force-21 _Over the Rainbow_ fleet from you to NERV for the duration of the trip." The man looked at me and then at Misato.

"…Denied."  
"_What?!"_ we chorused. We were from NERV! If there's one thing I've learned, is that nobody says no to NERV! NOBODY!

"I said no, Katsuragi, Ikari," repeated the Captain, and we could all hear the annoyance in his voice.  
"But-but-but-" Misato tried to protest, but nothing would come out.

The Captain stared at us; it wasn't a cold stare, more like one of annoyance. Like he had more important things to do. Looking down at the open file he had pulled out, I wondered what was inside.

"…Very well…" The Captain said, taking a page from the file and signing a document. "At this time, Carrier Strike Group 3 will be temporarily dispatched to support NERV Japan in transporting Evangelions Unit-02 and Unit-04. CVSG-3 will maintain operational control of organic combat assets in the event of an Angel attack. In the event of an Angel Attack, Captain Katsuragi Misato, Operations Director of NERV, is authorized to deploy NERV organic assets with support from CVSG-3 assets. Furthermore, NERV Operations Director is allowed to advise CVSG-3 command staff and suggest means of dispatching any and all Angel attacks."

It sounded like a fair trade, at any rate. "Best deal we'll get all day," I whispered to Misato, who nodded. It was better than what the JSSDF usually did; run in, muck up things, then leave us to clean up the rest. Making up her mind, Misato reached over and signed it before handing me the pen and letting me sign it, as well. The Captain nodded, satisfied, taking the file… and inadvertently knocking over the _other_ file right into my lap.

The file fell open on my lap, letting me stare right at it. I stared at the picture… and stared… and widened my eyes and stared some more.

_-threat to humanity_

_-potential artificial evolution_

_-a god-_

_-time break-_

_-threat level higher than Angels-_

_-enrolled at-_

_-under the name Suz-_

"That's mine," The captain whispered, holding out a hand expectantly. I suddenly realized I was shaking as I closed the file and handed it to the tall man. "Thank you, Third Child… and I would advise you to forget about this file for now…"

"Now, now, _Kapitan_," a voice said from behind us… a voice I recognized all too well. "Can't we all just… be friends?"  
Wait for it…

"_Kajiiiii!!!!_" Asuka swooned. How predictable. I waited for the second set of predictable events.  
"You!" Misato hissed, her hand halfway to her pistol.  
Misato, don't shoot him… well, not that you _really_ would, but…  
"Ahem. Kaji, have you leaned nothing at all?"

"_Nein, mein Kapitan_," Kaji replied, grinning. He turned on his "lady-killer" smile and aimed it at Misato, who _almost_ turned into mush under the gaze. "Misato, I have to borrow your XO there for a minute, if that's okay with you… and his mother, of course,"

"Why, sure, Kaji-kun!" Mom said cheerfully. "I have to talk with Asuka anyway, about Unit-02s upgrades."  
"Aw, do we have to?" Asuka said, her eyes fixed on Kaji.  
"Yes, dear," Mom laughed, putting a hand on Asuka's shoulder. "It won't take long, I promise… by the way, where's your mother?"

"Mom needed to stay in Germany for something, but she'll be back by the end of the week," Asuka said. Kaji nodded at me, and together the two of us walked out of the room. Misato started herding everyone to the mess hall, and I could vaguely hear Haruhi say something.

"Hey, Asuka-chan, who was that guy? He's sexy!"  
Oh dear. Women.

-

"So why have I been pulled out on deck?" I asked Kaji as I leaned against the railing where we were. I stared at the two cargo ships that carried the Evangelions. The one carrying Unit-02 looked… bulkier somehow.

"Later," Kaji replied, smiling. "First off… I wanted to talk to you about Asuka."  
Oh no, not this again! No offense, Kaji, but you're like the fifth person to talk with me about this, you know?

"I'm not here to convince you to get back with her, Shinji," Kaji told me. Well, at least _that's_ different. "I just want you to… well, to forgive her and move on. At least try to be friends again."

After what she did to Rei?! I don't think so!  
"Tell me, Shinji, what would Rei want right now? Would she want to see her two best friends fighting over her? Or would she at least want you to be on civil terms?"  
Well, obviously she'd be mad too! …right?

"Was the accident that disabled Rei and Unit-00 _really_ Asuka's fault?" Yes, yes it was! If she had made the first shot- "Could _you_ have done better, Shinji? Think about what you're doing before you choose to do it. Just because something seems like a good idea in the short run doesn't mean it's a good idea in the long run."

Kinda like you and Misato?  
"That's harsh, Shinji. Very harsh." Kaji said, his smile faltering a bit. "I guess that's a sign to change subjects."

"Yeah, what did you bring me up here for?" I asked him, curious again.  
"It's about that girl, Suzumiya Haruhi." Kaji said, his tone serious all of a sudden. "There's something you need to know about her."

"…that file…" I muttered. "It had Haruhi's school file, a picture of her, and a lot of stuff I didn't understand…" I looked up at Kaji. "What was it all about?"  
"Well… that's why I'm going to tell you now, Shinji…" Kaji said, his eyes distant. "Of how that girl, Haruhi, is the biggest threat to humanity that's ever existed."

I took a deep breath. I had a feeling I was going to hear something world shaking.  
I had no idea how right I was.

-

**OMAKE TIME!**

**OMAKE II: "After the Show - Asuka"**

_Haruhi:_ Hey, Suzumiya Haruhi again, and on tonight's show we're going behind the scenes after filming this episode

_Shinji: _Hey, Haruhi, what'cha doin?"

_Haruhi:_ We're gonna go see what Asuka's up to. Come on!

(Shinji and Haruhi sneak over to Asuka's trailer on the end of the set. Inside… strange noises can be heard.)

_Shinji:_ (Blushing) What's she doing?

_Haruhi:_ It sounds like…

_Asuka: _(muffled) OH GOD YES MORE!

(Shinji and Haruhi blush deeply)

_Haruhi:_ Uh… open the door, Shinji.

_Shinji:_ NO U.

_Haruhi:_ NO U.

_Shinji: _FINE.

_Asuka:_ (muffled) Oh yes you sexy beast! Do it harder!

(Shinji opens the door slowly and peers inside. Haruhi hops up next to him and pokes her head inside.)

_Haruhi: _Hey Asuka what'cha…

_Shinji:_ …omg… OMG… _OMG…_

(Both Shinji and Haruhi look at each other before bolting. Asuka seems to ignore them.)

_Shinji:_ Was that-

_Haruhi:_ Uh-huh.

_Shinji:_ And she was-

_Haruhi:_ Yeah.

_Shinji:_ And they were-

_Haruhi:_ Definitely.

_Shinji:_ …so why weren't we invited?

_Haruhi:_ I don't know.

(Shinji and Haruhi look at each other and shrug.)

_Shinji:_ …so now what?

_Haruhi: _I don't know… wanna go to your trailer and make out?

_Shinji: _Sure!

(Both walk off.)

_Haruhi:_ Until next time, _Omake Time _has ended for… uh, personal reasons! Yeah!

-

_Captain Glen Schattermann_,_ Lieutenant Jack David, Officer Robert Schmidt, Officer Tony Faulk, Carrier Strike Group-03, FAS _Sealance, _Combined Task Force-21_, and other elements from the "Three Stars Project" are property _**Exile Studios, LTD. **_And _The Neon Genesis Angelus Project_.


End file.
